Protest

I often catch myself wondering why I do things. I mean, not just why, but Really? Why? What are my truuuuue motivations for doing what I do? Questions like these can be hard to answer. You can hit blocks that fulfill the ego but bounce off the shiny veneer on the actual hideous truth. You can lie to yourself while thinking you're truthing! (thanks Lee Hazlewood) If I may be so bold - we all do it, yeah? Well I've decided to ask myself something I have asked myself before, many times, and see how honest I can be with myself about it.

Why do I go to Protests?

The first reasons that pop up for me are: They're fun; Signs are often funny; I like people; I like belonging to a group of people who agree on something; they make you feel like you're doing something.

Now, if I may, I'll dissect each one of these reasons. These rabbit holes may go deep...

1. They're fun: Why are they fun? Because you get to yell; you get to dress up sometimes; you get to see lots of pretty people with cool brains; you get to prepare for them and build up excitement leading up to the day; you get to feel all self-righteous and endorphiny...

2. Signs are often funny: They are; you get to feel all smart 'n' stuff for getting it; you get to feel even smarter and more awesomer if you actually write a good sign and people get it and laugh and give you approving looks.

3. I like people: I do; there's often attractive people there with similar interests; I get to be, for some people, an attractive person there with similar interests to them; it makes you realise that some people don't suck as much as those other ones...

4. I like belonging to a group of people who agree on something: I think it's a fundamental human trait - the want to belong - so for me a protest holds this desire up and dances with it; you get to feel like you're one of the smart ones in an outside-protest-ocean of not-so-smarties (mix'n up my metaphors!); you get to channel common anger into a big-ol communal anger purge (see 1.); it certainly makes your feelings feel more justified 'cos y'know - everyone's doin' it; you can be supportive and feel supported; it can remind you that not all humans suck or are completely self-interested (Honesty check - Question = do I actually want others to have a good time or is it just because I feel good when others do so therefore it's really for me? *Insert many and varied rabbit-holesque tangential and often contradictory thought-structures and arguments here* Answer = I don't actually know); You get to feel like these other cool people will like you and think you're cool too. *Runs off and has moral and as a result existential crisis*...

5. They make you feel like you're doing something: You're not; yes you are; no you're not; yes.... Wait... What are you doing? You're attending a group event and feeling some communal love and catharsis and feeling just a bit of hope that maybe the higher-ups will listen and something will change and the thing that was shit won't be so shit anymore... The jury is probably out on whether or not protest is actually effective - it's certainly affective, but effective... well it depends on what you want it to accomplish. Many will now be thinking of the anti-mining (on schedule four land) march in Auckland in 2010 that attracted what Stuff says was 50,000 people to it. It. Was. Big. Many believe it was effective as the plans to survey the land were (at least publicly) dropped following that protest. Many will argue that they were "dropped" due to other pressures and arbitrary reasons. Many will argue that it was a combination. We may never know. What we do know though is that thousands of people came together and united on an issue that will probably affect their grandchildren, and that humans are in a self-perpetuating cycle of re-spawning for the sake of it so have to at least look like we care about the thrice-removed Me Replacements that are still to come. So if nothing else - it serves that good old purpose of giving life a reason to be lived.

I think I have just managed to sound both cynical and hopeful at once. Go me. I like protests.