Triumph and Disaster

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same -Rudyard Kipling

First of all, what does this quote mean? To decide this I will choose what each of the two nouns means. What is triumph? What is disaster? 

I see a triumph, in this context, as a personal victory - something that has happened that feels so gosh-darn good. From this comes a feeling that makes you wonder that you could ever feel bad ever again. It's glorious.

I see a disaster then, as the opposite. Something has happened that makes everything around it feel terrible. The worst possible outcome has occurred - it can bring with it feelings of hopelessness, frustration, grief, or it can be any of those in itself. It's awful and you may wonder if you'll ever feel good again.

Now, why are they impostors? What is in-authentic about them? Doesn't it seem negative to suggest that events that bring glory and absolute joy are not real? Ask my friend who had just finished his last year of art school, and who had hung his final work and sold some of it, making back some of his costs and gaining recognition as an artist. He was feeling pretty darned great when I directed this quote at him. I had not quite anticipated that he would not take it so well, and basically tell me where I could shove my unsolicited and annoying advice. Clearly my timing on that one was poor, and from this I've learnt a lesson. However, what I actually meant to convey was that I could see he was on a high that he would come down from at some stage in the few days post the exhibition. I could see that banal everyday experience would not compare to this landmark in his life, and I didn't want him to look unfavourably on the rest of his experiences. I wanted him to appreciate them too. Unfortunately my timing was whack, and my point was lost.

Those times of triumph are great, but everything can be great. Regular life doesn't have to pale in comparison, or we're always just looking forward to the next big thing and not really being in the present.

Now, why is disaster something else in disguise? It may be because every bad thing that could ever happen has an opportunity inside it. Granted, it feels as though this should probably only apply to everyday disasters like not getting that job, or burning the cookies for that important meeting. It seems ridiculous to suggest that someone dying is only disaster in disguise, as it is a long-term affliction - but it, like everything, does contain opportunity to grow. I have recently been through a disaster, which has prompted this post. My flat has had to make a very difficult decision and have somebody forcibly evicted. It is a complex situation and nobody has taken any part of it lightly. It has felt disastrous to many degrees. There are two wonderful things however that have come from it. One is that the evicted flatmate will now receive the care he needs, and be in a space that is actually suitable for him to be able to heal and grow. The other is not the obvious benefit - that he is no longer our problem to have to deal with, despite not being qualified - but that we have bonded as a flat. We have seen each other in revealing new lights and reached agreements and been relatively patient and warm towards each other. I will take growth from this disaster.

We can establish here that triumph is great, but need not be better than everyday life, and that disaster is terrible but need not be worse than everyday life. We can also establish that it may be best to pull out this wisdom when someone is experiencing disaster, rather than triumph! It will be better received.

So, why then should we treat the two the same? Don't we enjoy the highs and lows of life? Don't we get addicted to complaining, or to feeling the adrenaline rush of a disappointment reaffirming our self-righteousness? Don't we just feel so good when we score a goal, or kiss a crush, or sell a painting? The two extremes are just that - extremes. This makes them the same. They are also both usually very temporary, which means they are not necessarily real.

I believe this piece of wisdom is about seeing the simple joys in the everyday as triumph enough, and about appreciating these simple joys even when the thrill of any glory has worn off. I believe it is about not taking perceived disasters so seriously and finding the opportunity in them to build on those simple joys.

It is about leaving the extremes and accepting the beauty of each moment. All the time. Now.